dereneh的部落格

Dating and sexual confidence gives you several advantages. Confidence in initiating and maintaining contact with the opposite sex, confidence in assertively competing against potential rivals, and confidence that you can satisfy the opposite sex's criteria for a sexual partner.

If you lack the confidence, you can't initiate contact let alone compete against a potential rival. Every time you think of approaching a woman you run every possible negative scenario inside your head... other guys are better looking than me... what woman would want to be with me... what if I walk up to her and I have nothing interesting to say... what if she already has someone.... Who am kidding, I wouldn't have a chance... what if she doesn't pick up the phone... on and on... You repeat these negative thoughts over and over inside your mind until you actually manage to talk yourself out of having to go up to a woman.

For many men, the torture doesn't stop there. They actually beat themselves up for fearing rejection. What's wrong with me$%: Why can't I be like so-and-so$%: Why do I fear rejection so much I must be a loser etc"

Rather than force yourself to try stop worrying about rejection, consider the very worst that could happen. "Well, if I go up to her, I might be rejected. I would be so embarrassed I would have to get out of here. Then I would go home and pour myself a really strong drink, no make it two, may be three. I don't think I'll be able to forget the experience and every time I think about it I'd have to drink myself silly just to numb the pain. Pretty soon I'd be a bum on skid row. I'd be so ashamed I'd have to move to another city, where I wouldn't have ..." keep going until you see the absurdity of your predictions.

After you stop chuckling, ask yourself, "Can I live with that$%:"

What is extraordinary about this way of approaching rejection is that it is so pragmatic in that it has the effect of freeing the mind from its usual habits of thinking. And rather than trying to run away from rejection, it becomes much more easier to walk right into it, and face it.